Final Fantasy 7 Yugioh! cross
by bahamutslave
Summary: Yugi finally loses a duel and gets transported to the FF world (Aeris and flowers should not go together) Please Read and Review
1. Default Chapter

Yugi-oh! Final Fantasy Crossover  
The final duel...  
I do not own FF7 or Yugi-oh, I'm not that talented  
  
Yugi: Marik! I shall defeat you!  
Marik: Your power shall soon be mine pharaoh!!  
Yugi: I'll never let you win my puzzle!  
Marik: check the duel stats Yugi!  
( the life point count is Yugi=1000, Marik= 3450, on the field Marik has  
a newly summoned Masked beast and Yugi has his dark magician hidden behind  
three more magical hats and it's Yugi's turn)  
Yugi: I draw... Heart of the cards guide me!  
Tea: Yugi!  
Joey: Come on you can do it!  
Tristan: (staring at Serenity) ...mm? Oh yeah, Let's go Yug!  
Serenity: Come on!  
Mai: I'll give you a special kiss if you win!  
Tea: Mai... this isn't going to help him.  
Mai: I thought the kid was desperate!  
Tea: Hmmm...  
Serenity: Joey!!  
Joey: ?? Serenity!!  
( Serenity is grabbed and taking away by Marik's right hand man and Joey  
and Tristan chase him)  
Tea: Urgghhh! I hate Marik!  
Yugi: *gasp*oh no... this face down defense  
Marik: The end is now Inuba white rabbit in attack mode and attack his life  
points!  
( his LP goes to 300)  
Marik: and now attack Masked beast  
( it attacks and the dark magician was revealed and destroyed and Yugi  
loses)  
Marik: You lose...And I get Sleifer and your puzzle and my rightful power!!  
Yugi: Urggh!  
Tea: Noo!  
Mai: Yugi!  
( Mai jumps over the edge of the dock and onto Marik's boat and tea walks  
around onto the boat and they both pick Yugi up)  
Marik: My millennium rod shall send all of you to the shadow realm!  
( before Marik can complete sending them the puzzle reacts and as  
Marik's rod is brought down the puzzle makes a shield of a yellow and green  
energy and warps them (Yugi, Tea, and Mai) to another world)  
(as Mai opens her eye's she looks around and sees a monstrous bird on top  
of a building)  
Mai: AYIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! Yugi, Tea? WAKE UP!!  
Tea: What's going on?  
Yugi: Where are we?  
Mai: Look at that freaking huge bird!!  
Tea: Whoa!  
Yugi: Look out!  
( a huge creature with very big arms and a white front side and a jet-  
black backside with a demonic cat face swept over them)  
Mai: Whoa! Check out the love handles!  
(the creature turns it's face and stare's at Mai and runs over and tries  
to punch her)  
Mai: Holy crap!  
( She dodges by rolling to the right and grabs out her perfume and  
sprays it in his eyes and the monster screams and then starts trying to  
blow dirt on them)  
Tea: Ayeee!  
Yugi: Crap! *thud* My head!!  
( the creature keeps flapping as a voice can be heard)  
Female voice: Fire!!  
( a fire comes from out of nowhere and then a person with spiky blonde  
hair comes in and chops away with a huge sword)  
Female: Are you okay?  
Mai: Was that supposed to hurt?  
Tea: Quit acting so tough!  
Big black male: T-U-F-F or T-O-U-G-H?  
creature: The only book Barret's red... 'The Outsiders'  
Yugi: I'm fine...  
female: You don't look like you're from around here, or anywhere for that  
matter  
Yugi: Who are you?  
Female: I'm Tifa, Tifa Lockeheart  
Male: I'm bad!  
Tifa: That means good and that's Cloud and that's Barret and that's Red  
XIII and there's one more who isn't here... where the hell is Aeris anyway?  
Aeris: Sorry! I saw some flowers and decided to gather some for everyone!  
one for you Barret!  
( she put the flower in his jacket)  
Aeris: One for Red XIII and one for Cloud and one for Tifa!  
Tifa: Who are you?  
Mai: I'm Mai, this is Yugi and this is his girlfriend, Tea!  
Tea: I am not his girlfriend Mai, we're just friends  
Mai: Where are we?  
Aeris: Outside of Fort Condor.  
Mai: Is that what that is?  
Cloud: Wow even I knew that, nobody should call me stupid now.  
Mai: Shut up, god your such a jerk!  
Aeris: You shouldn't be traveling without weapons or materia.  
Yugi:...  
( They tell their story about Marik, the puzzle, and about their world  
and about their problems and Aeris and Tifa basically explain there  
situation about the Shinra and Sephiroth and Mai wanted to spray Red XIII  
with perfume for he smelled bad)  
Mai: What was that weird creature back there?  
Cloud: A Zemzelett  
Tifa: Hey why don't you guys join us?  
Mai: I'm beginning to hate the...Shinra isn't it?  
Tifa: Yeah.  
Tea: We would probably die if we don't.  
Yugi: I don't want to be the only one who isn't going.  
Mai: I wish I could be of help.  
Red XIII: We're heading towards Junon there we could get you some  
equipment.  
Mai: None to ruin my fashion!  
Barret: We got to split up into two groups, we'll be too easily  
noticeable...  
Tifa: How about all girls and all guys!?  
Mai: Nothing wrong with that!  
Tea: hmm....  
Aeris: There it's settled! We shall be going into these two groups!  
Cloud:...okay  
  
Author's note: I know some of it may sound like something somebody else  
may have come up with but I did not copy... I hope to get reviews and lot's  
of them and if I don't I'm still writing and continuing!! this is ONLY the  
beginning!! 


	2. The Yuffie Duel

The Yuffie duel  
(we go on from the girl's party as they choose to make a shortcut through  
the woods)  
Tea: I really don't like the woods...  
Tifa: Oh come on it'll be fine!  
Mai: Now that the guys are gone... Girl talk!!  
Aeris: Ooh! More flowers!  
Tifa: Oh, no...  
Aeris: I want it!  
( she goes towards the flower as she falls in a hidden hole)  
Voice: It worked!  
(A girl comes down from one of the trees and gets ready to mug Aeris  
before she stopped)  
Mysterious Ninja: Ahh, no fun! I need some materia, not some girl on a  
nature walk!  
Tifa: I have some right here if you're willing to take it  
Mysterious Ninja: Fine!  
Tifa: right out of my hand.  
Mysterious Ninja: Ooh so scared!  
Mai: ?!! Are those duel monster cards in you're pocket?  
Mysterious Ninja: Hmm? These? I don't know they were on some guy that  
looked like a girl I mugged yesterday!  
Mai: Are you willing to learn how to play a new game? If you win I'll give  
you everything I own.  
Mysterious ninja: What?  
Tifa: I'll even through in the materia!  
Mysterious Ninja: Fine I'm a quick learner!  
Mai: Alright, we shall use 4000 LP  
Mysterious ninja: I guess when someone reaches 0 they lose.  
Mai: Right! now shuffle that deck and cut mine... by putting the pile in  
two stacks and putting the bottom one on top.  
Mysterious Ninja: Alright!  
Mai: Now draw 5 cards.  
Mysterious ninja: Okay!  
Now here are the rules...  
( she goes on and explains the basic rules and said how individual cards  
have different effects and stuff)  
Mysterious Ninja: I'll go first... let's see...! I think I can do this card  
face down defense mode and this card face down...and that's it  
Mai: Good alright I play Cyber harpy with an attack of 1850 and attack your  
face down monster  
( it gets flipped up and it happens to be toon alligator)  
Mysterious Ninja: Fine... alright here we go! Face down defense mode!  
Mai: You're going to have to attack me you know my harpy will attack your  
face down card  
(it gets flipped and it's aqua madoor Mai=3850, Ninja=4000)  
Mysterious Ninja: Okay I think I can do this, toon world.... soul  
exchange... and sacrifice my aqua madoor and summon Manga Ryu ran and I'll  
have to wait one more turn  
Mai: Pegasus?!  
Tea: Why would Pegasus be here?  
Mai: Alright I use elegant egotist and harpy's feather duster and attack  
your LP  
Mysterious ninja: I use attack and receive!  
(Mai=3150, Ninja=1550)  
Mysterious ninja: Hmm,...  
Voice: It's them! Avalanche! Let's get them  
Tifa: Oh, no it's the Shinra...  
Mysterious ninja:?  
Shinra guard: You other's better not get involved with them!  
Mai: And so what if we are?  
Guard: We'll have to take you out with them, a very huge bounty's on all of  
them!  
Mysterious ninja: Let's see who'll be taking who out!  
Aeris: Hello! Can someone help me out of here!!  
Mai: Here hold on!  
(Mai pulls Aeris from the hole and then the guard blows a whistle and 9  
more guards come with guns)  
Tea: Uh-oh...  
Mai: No fair!  
Mysterious Ninja: 5 -10 sounds fair to me!  
( the ninja starts throwing shurikens and Tifa starts punching at  
them... Mai grabs a nearby tree branch and starts whacking away as Tea  
screams trying not to get hit by bullets)  
Guard: Fine! Here!  
( He throws a grenade at Mai but she catches it and quickly throws it  
back, te walks by the newly blown up man)  
Tea:....! ( she picks up the gun) DIE!!! *BOOM* ?...sorry!  
Tifa: Everybody alright?  
Aeris: Now that I have the flower!  
Mai: What bad aim!  
Tea: I HATE GUNS!!  
Mysterious Ninja: So you're going against the Shinra, too...  
Aeris: That hole hurt!  
Mysterious Ninja: Well I guess I'll let you be...for now  
Tifa: Hey wait...  
Mysterious Ninja: What?  
Tifa: Why don't you join us against the Shinra?  
Mysterious Ninja: ... Okay, I'll just pick up the materia along the way!  
Mai: What's your name?  
Mysterious Ninja: Yuffie Kisaragi.  
Tifa: Great! Now we definitely outnumber the guys!  
Yuffie: ...I've never really seen anybody play that game before  
Mai: Where me and Tea...her come from it's the most popular thing and you  
are already better than lots of pros!  
Yuffie: ??? Like where are you from? Oh whatever!! This is boring the hell  
out of me!  
Tea: What a lady.  
Tifa: We better get moving before Cloud and the others get worried!  
( They start walking with Yuffie lagging behind)  
Yuffie: Alright now just play a little and Wutai shall have renewed it's  
pride!... Hey wait up!  
  
Author's note: Okay this is corny but, it's a whole page devoted to the  
finding of our favorite ninja Yuffie! I hope to make it better though...  
REVIEWS?! 


	3. Chapter 3 No name

Cloud: The other's should have been here by now...  
Barret: Screw it let's just get the f@#$ out of here and bash Sephiroth's  
head!  
Red XIII: You don't care about them?  
Barret: No it's just... ahh... dammit!  
Cloud: (jumps up and down)...what I'm bored.... grrr...  
Red XIII: Here they come!  
Barret: About time!  
Yugi:... I feel very awkward right now  
Cloud: *chuckle*  
Tifa: Sorry we're late!  
Cloud: Who's she?  
Yuffie: Yuffie Kisaragi at your service! I steal, kill and unlock almost  
anything!  
Barret: Look at that broad! How could you help us?  
Yuffie: ( Put's the shuriken up to his throat) You want to try my skills?  
Barret: No, no I'll just let you brag yourself to death.  
Tifa: Barret, shut up! That doesn't even make sense!  
Barret: It does to me, so...(Tifa gives him an evil look) I'll just shut  
up!  
Yugi: Tea, are you all right?  
Tea: Of coarse, why wouldn't I be?  
Mai: Oh you guys look so I cu~te!  
Tea: We're just friends Mai!  
Mai: N'yeah, uh-huh, so like how many times are you going to deny it?  
Tea:...We're just friends...Mai.  
Mai: Let's see... that's 4 times!  
Red XIII: ...if everybody's finished, we should go on ahead and find if  
Sephiroth's really here.  
Aeris: Here, Why don't you have this flower, it'll make you feel better!  
(Aeris put the flower in Red XIII headband) Ohh, you're so cu~te!...  
Where's the flower I gave you before?  
Red XIII: Ummm, it fell out?  
Aeris: You didn't keep it?! I can't believe you! ...Barret? Where's yours?!  
Barret:: I thought it was a joke... and so did Cloud and Tifa!  
Aeris: Is this true?  
Tifa: Ummm, well I'm kinda allergic!  
Aeris: (voice gets all cracky and quiet) You threw away my presents of  
friendship, you guys pretended to be my friend!  
Mai: Sounds like someone needs some Midol.  
(Aeris sits on the ground and turns her head away with a face that a 2  
year old would have when they didn't get their way)  
Cloud: Aeris?...Come on Aeris! At least blink!  
Barret: You're worse than Marlene!  
Tea:...Aeris? I don't think she's going to forgive you.  
Tifa: Aeris.... the flowers were just extra weight and would have  
eventually effected us.  
Aeris: Fine I guess it would have... fine you're forgiven, for now!  
Cloud to Tifa: Yes a flower would have ruined us, now wouldn't it?  
Tifa: At leas she's blinking...  
( they walk in and start branching of in different directions Yugi and  
Tea one way. Cloud, Tifa, Aeris another. Yuffie and Barret walked alone.  
Mai followed Red XIII)  
Mai: So this is Junon huh?  
Red XIII: Why are you following me?  
Mai: What can I say? Aeris was right, that flower really makes you cute! It  
brings out your sensitive side!  
Red XIII: I'm a bit disturbed now...  
Mai: Alright, let's cut the small talk ( pulls out two bottles of perfume)  
Lovely lavender or cheery cherry?  
Red XIII: Not one of them...  
Mai: Don't worry.. it's been tested on animals too! Non-toxic and both from  
Avon!  
Red XIII: Do you really think I care?  
Mai: Why not?  
Red XIII: Cause I don't, any more questions?  
Mai: How come you can talk?  
Red XIII: How come you can talk?  
Mai:... tough question.... does species make me an exception?  
Red XIII: Not in this case...  
Mai: ... You're making this hard...  
Red XIII: The answer is because you have learned to...  
Mai: Dang... what's your IQ?  
Red XIII: Dunno, never took the test.  
Mai: Why not?...  
(they walk by a shop and walked in)  
Red XIII:... A weapons shop.  
Mai: Oh, yeah! what about weapons for me?  
Red XIII: Cloud has all our money  
Mai: Why?  
Red XIII: It's just something that we decided upon so we'll just have to  
wait  
Sales man: You'll need some of my weapons if you want to survive!  
Mai: Ummm, if you didn't just hear us we have no money.  
Sales man: Well if you got something you can sell me then I can give you  
store credit  
Mai: ...I'm leaving.  
Red XIII: Me too...  
(outside they meet up with Yuffie)  
Yuffie: Wassup?  
Mai: Hey, hon listen do you have any money on you?  
Yuffie: Yeah, 16,300 gil about, why?  
Mai: I was wondering... could I borrow some of it? Wait, would that be  
enough?  
Red XIII: I think it should be.  
Yuffie: What would you need it for?  
Red XIII: She needs some equipment.  
Yuffie: Ya' know, the other day I saw even an old man with a cane traveling  
with a gun and some materia. But you don't.  
Mai: It's very complicated.  
Yuffie: Good then I really don't want to hear it, it'll give me a headache!  
Mai: Well...could you?  
Yuffie: Sure, I can gain the money back quickly enough.  
(they go back in)  
Sales man: Back so soon?  
Mai: What weapons do you have?  
Sales man: all that's right here!  
Mai: I want a whip!  
Red XIII: Why?  
Mai: Cause that's what my harpies use!  
Red XIII: Your harpies?  
Mai: This... (she shows him the Harpy lady card with the rose whip card)  
Yuffie: Ah, that weird game!  
Sales man: I'm sorry but I don't have a whip made now, nobody uses those  
around here anymore.  
Mai: Seriously? But I want one!  
Sales man: I know a blacksmith that can probably make one but it could take  
a while like a few hours overnight.  
Yuffie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, how much?  
Salesman: for a personally made one 2,500 gil  
Yuffie: That all? Okay, we should be here awhile. so no matter oh and take  
this extra mythril armlet.  
Mai: Wow, you're being really nice!  
Yuffie: Well I guess I'm making a good 2nd impression but don't be alarmed  
with the 3rd.  
Red XIII: If you don't mind I would like to be alone for a little while.  
(Red XIII Leaves)  
Mai: Should I follow him?  
Yuffie: You're evil! You just may happen to be my new best friend!  
Mai: First time I was called evil.  
Yuffie: Well I'm going to run around town and collect whatever I can.  
Mai: What do you do really for a living?  
Yuffie: I steal materia and money and ...that's about it!  
(Yuffie ran off quickly and left Mai alone)  
Mai: Who should I talk to next?  
( Tea and Yugi are talking to each other next to a well (not in the  
game))  
Yugi: I'm worried about the other's...  
Tea: Their probably still in our world...  
Yugi: Here I feel like an outcast...  
Tea: We're all outcasts here, and just because nobody plays duel monster's  
here doesn't mean you can't beat them in other means.  
Yugi: Actually I think it does.  
(they talk a lot but nothing of interest to you or me)(now Barret's  
talking to a guy next to a huge fishbone)  
Barret: That's a huge fish.  
Geezer : Well shunny I caught thish here fish quit shome time in the pasht  
it was(h) the largesht fish anyone ever captured. Do you like fishing  
shunny?  
Barret: I used to all the time when I was young and then I had lived in  
Corel but lately I don't fish for I have other things I need to take care  
of  
Geezer: Well that ish a real shame.  
Barret: I better go before I start talking like ye!  
( now Barret leaves and Cloud, Tifa and Aeris go down to the shore as  
they see a little girl talking a dolphin)  
Girl: Come on Mr. Dolphin! Say my name, Priscilla P-R-I-S-C-I-L-L-A! You  
dumb dolphin! SAY IT OR YOU'LL BE FRIENDLY AND INTELLIGENT ON SOME WHEAT  
BREAD AND MAYONNAISE!!  
Cloud: Priscilla? Oh, I remember that place!!  
Tifa: CLO~UD!!!! heh-heh he doesn't know what he's saying!  
Priscilla: Are you one of those Shinra officers?  
Cloud: No we're not.  
Priscilla: You little lying bastards!  
( The Bottomswell comes up and gets ready to attack Mr. Dolphin when  
Priscilla got in the way and was struck into the water as the current party  
gets ready to fight the beast)  
Tea: Hey Yugi, do you hear that?  
Yugi: Yeah.  
Tea: Let's go see what it is!  
(They go to see what it is (I had you fooled didn't I? Come on admit  
it!))  
Aeris: Seal Evil!! ( she tries to use it but it had absolutely no effect)  
What? It should have hampered his abilities?  
Tifa: I guess he's resistant! I can't reach him!  
Yugi: Go! Dark Magician! ( he throws the card at the Bottomswell and  
everybody looks at him in confusion) Oh yeah, it doesn't work!  
Yuffie: Taste this!!  
( Yuffie throws the shuriken and the spinning makes a loud whizzing  
noise through the air and it cuts through the bottomswell's side and makes  
a huge gash. As the blood gushes out of the side of it uses it's long tail  
to hit Yuffie away into the rock wall and pins her)  
Yuffie: Help me!! Arghhhaahh!!  
Tea: What can we do?  
Tifa: Start hitting it!! (she goes and tries to extricate Yuffie from the  
huge serpents tail and eventually along with yuffie hitting it, it backs  
off.)  
Cloud: Bolt!! ( he casts bolt on it and it backs off)  
Tea: It's working!!  
Yugi:...  
Tea: Oh, come on you can't always be the hero!  
Aeris: Bolt! (she casts bolt (dur!) and the huge serpent falls to the shore  
and screams it's last breath and then dies as Tifa drags Priscilla to shore  
and the old geezer comes by)  
Geezer: Ho dilly! That'sh one mighty big fishy! Oh Prishilla!  
(he goes over to Priscilla and looks at Cloud)  
Geezer: Yong man CPR right now!  
Cloud: Me?  
Geezer: Yesh, you dumbash!  
( Cloud gives the girl CPR and she comes to straight after throwing up in  
cloud's mouth (FACT: I think it's 8 out of 10 people who receive CPR throw  
up into the person's mouth)  
Cloud Yuck!  
Geezer: Prishilla! (he takes her away)  
Yugi: *poke, poke* I think it is dead.  
Tea: Eww... Wash your hands, Yugi!  
Tifa: Well hopefully she's alright...  
Aeris: Hey! I found another flower!  
Tifa & Tea: Don't!  
Aeris: Why?  
Tifa: cause that thing next to it's called a live wire.  
Aeris: Oh...  
(they talk for a while and afterwards they go off in different groups  
again...)  
Author's comments: Okay, I think I did better... let's see what you think 


	4. Chapter 4: The new president Mr Bon bons

Chapter 4  
The New President, Mr. Bon-bon!  
(With Cloud, Tifa and Aeris)  
Aeris: I hope that that little girl will be all right.  
Cloud: I hope that I can kill all those germs with mouthwash!  
Tifa: That's not nice.  
Cloud: So?  
(A woman appears)  
Woman: I's hear you helped our little Priscilla today.  
Cloud: Yeah....  
Woman: Well your welcome to use my house to sleep in for tonight.  
Cloud: Yes!  
Tifa: Hey, wait a minute! Are you sure?  
Woman: Yes it's the least we could do for you.  
(The woman leaves)  
Cloud: I say that they could've given us 1 million-bajillion gil would be  
the very least!  
Aeris: That, too, is not nice!  
(They go in and rest)  
(Now with Yuffie, Mai, and Red XIII)  
Red XIII: Do you guys enjoy bothering me?  
Mai & Yuffie: Yep!!  
Yuffie: Damn! This place has no Materia!  
Mai: How do you use Materia?  
Yuffie: Like this...(she explains)... got it?  
Mai: Maybe...  
Red XIII: It's going to get dark soon.  
Yuffie: How can you tell? It's dark 24-7 here.  
Red XIII: Maybe because there's a clock behind your head.  
(Yuffie turns around)  
Yuffie: Oh...  
Mai: So how do you crash for the night here?  
Yuffie: We find a hotel and sleep or use a tent.  
Mai: oh no! A tent would ruin my hair!  
Yuffie: Well, where's an inn?  
Red XIII: I don't think there is one.  
(Yugi and Tea come by)  
Tea: Hey guys!  
Yugi:....  
Mai: Ah! You guys are still so Cu~te!  
Tea: IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA DROWN YOU IN CITRIC ACID!!  
Mai:?  
Yugi: Don't Tea, we don't want to see her skin boil.  
Mai & Tea:?....  
Yuffie: Citric acid doesn't burn your skin; it's in soft drinks for crying  
out loud!  
Mai: Yugi, hon... don't talk anymore.  
Tea: Don't talk to Yugi like that!  
Yuffie: You DO like him!  
Tea: ...so?  
Yugi: Really?  
Mai: Wow I was just kidding.  
(Red XIII is gone now that the girls are distracted)  
Yuffie: I'm going to go and sleep!  
Mai: I guess I will too... I hate tents!  
Yugi: We're sleeping in tents?  
Mai: Oh, and Yugi... We'll be sure to give you your own!  
Yugi: What's that supposed to mean?  
Tea: Whatever you think it means.  
Yugi: What I think is-  
Mai: Remember Yugi, don't talk.... you have no opinion of your own!  
(Well rest of dialogue will be boring, they go sleep in tents, Yugi by  
himself, they wake up the next morning and find Barret's outside of a house  
with a bag...and a bottle in it)  
Yuffie: Are you okay?  
Barret: Ooh, my head hurts!  
Yugi: I would say sleeping on a wall would hurt!  
Yuffie: He's having a hangover!  
Yugi:?  
Mai: It's what happens after you get drunk...  
(Cloud, Tifa and Aeris come by)  
Tifa: I slept great!  
Aeris: Me too!  
Cloud: next to 2 beautiful women who wouldn't?  
Tifa: What?  
Aeris: Did you say something?  
Cloud: Ummm, no!  
Tea: Is that little girl okay?  
Priscilla: Of course I am you bimbo!  
Tea: Bimbo?!  
Priscilla to cloud: What's your name?  
Cloud: Cloud.  
Priscilla: Ooh! I love you!  
(Gives cloud a hug around the waist (remember she's small))  
Cloud: Get off me!  
Priscilla: Sorry, thanks for saving me! Here have this! It's the Shiva  
materia!  
Yuffie: MATERIA!!!  
Mai: What happened yesterday?  
Aeris: umm well it's a long story!  
(Red XIII comes by)  
Red XIII: ALL RIGHT!!! WHO DID THIS?!!  
(Everyone starts looking around)  
Mai: But you smell so good now!  
(Go figure)  
Red XIII: when did you?  
Mai: Aww, I snuck out of the tent early this morning and found you!  
Red XIII: *growl*  
Aeris: But she's right, you do smell better now!  
Mai: Please don't rub yourself in the dirt!  
Red XIII: I'm not a dog!  
Tifa: Do you hear the music?  
Barret: Yeah, and it's giving me a bloody headache!  
Priscilla: It's for the new President  
Barret: Yeah that's right! I've gotta bash his head in!  
Cloud: How do we get up there?  
Priscilla:... there's an elevator! If you wanna die before we get married!  
Cloud: Good option.  
Priscilla:?... well anyway then you could get up using Mr. Dolphin!  
Cloud:?  
Priscilla: Use him to jump onto the upper plate!  
Barret: Cloud. Do it. You wouldn't want the girls doing this and I have a  
freaking headache and that guy (points to Yugi) would probably fall off and  
drown.  
Yugi: Hey!  
Cloud: You don't care if I drown though right?  
Barret: Damn Straight!  
Cloud: Alright let's do it!  
Priscilla: Alright! Let's go!  
(Priscilla talked and talked along the way while Cloud just walked)  
Priscilla: Alright when you are in position, blow this whistle!  
Barret: (running) Hey fool! Give me the PHS! It'll break if wet!  
(Cloud gives Barret the PHS then the bird)  
Barret: Yeah your a tough guy, wait till you get the S*** knocked out of  
you for stuff like this!  
Cloud: Ready. (Goes in water and blows whistle and the dolphin comes with  
and jumps with cloud on although they miss) HEY!!! I have just been  
violated!!! (The dolphin didn't come up in the right spot)  
Priscilla: What did he do?  
Barret: Ummm, he probably just mad cause he missed!  
Cloud: Don't do that again! (Blows whistle and they get up on the beam) I'm  
gonna fall, I'm gonna fall!  
Barret: Are you gonna fall?!  
Cloud: No!  
(Cloud climbs up and sees the huge ships at the top, and then walks towards  
the entrance to the building and walks in and...)  
Shinra Major (SM): MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!! Hey soldier! You aren't even dressed!  
Cloud: uhhh, me?  
SM: Yeah you! Get your skinny ass in here!  
Cloud:...okay.  
(They go in)  
SM: Get changed immediately!  
(2 Shinra guards come in)  
Guard 1: I'll help!  
Cloud: Oh no you don't!  
Guard 2: I'll sing too!  
Cloud: That's just wrong!  
SM: Get changed now!  
Cloud: okay! (Finds an extra Shinra uniform and is in the middle of  
changing)... and your going to watch me too?  
Guard 1: Of course  
Guard 2: why?  
SM: Hurry up!  
Cloud: great... surrounded by Shinra fairies....  
SM: what was that!?  
Cloud: Nothing! (Gets fully changed)  
SM: Now you do remember the march formation, and the commands?  
Cloud: ughnnn...  
SM: You forgot didn't you?  
Guard 1: He's a blonde sir  
Cloud: please don't say it!  
Guard 2: A cute blonde!  
Cloud: crap... a-hem! Please refrain from saying such disgusting things....  
did that sound right?  
SM: Show him what to do!  
(They start showing cloud the commands)  
SM: Square!  
(Cloud does it)  
Guard 2: no! Your legs need to be~  
Cloud: Touch me and you die!  
Guard 2: *gulp* umm...more together.  
(They go through it while the stupid Shinra guard sings obnoxiously)  
SM: All right let's go!  
(They go and find out they are too late)  
SM: We're too late!  
(They run for a while more)  
SM: This is all your fault!  
Guard 1: Hey we could take a shortcut through here!  
SM: Good idea!  
(They take the shortcut and make it into the parade and after the parade go  
to the ship and waited for Rufus to come and watch. when he did come Cloud  
saw Mai dressed up like a servant)  
Mai: Would you like something sir?  
Rufus: I want some Bon-bons!  
Mai: Ummm, here! Here you go sir (begins to bend down to grab some bon-bons  
and noticed everyone looking at her wearing the short skirt and decides to  
bend her knees instead and gives it to him)  
Rufus: NO! I want you to spoon feed it to me!  
Mai: Ughnn, okay (grabs a spoon)  
Rufus: All right if you guys do a good job I'll give you one too!  
Cloud: Why would I want one?  
SM: Alright! Now!...(gives the orders)  
Rufus: Alright I guess I'm forced to give you one...darn, I thought you  
guys would suck! New gal, give them a bon-bon!  
Mai: Ughrrr... All right Mr. president! (Mr. Bon-bons!!!)  
Cloud: Psst! Mai!  
Mai: Cloud? So you did make it.  
Cloud: Where are the oth~  
(Mai shoves the bon bon in his mouth)  
Mai: Shut-up and eat the stupid candy, here's one for you and for you  
Guard 2: man if I were straight, I'd easily have her!  
Guard 1: Sure!  
Mai: ? I heard that! And no you wouldn't.  
Rufus: Alright I'm heading on, don't get left behind Miss Gardner!  
Mai to Cloud: Heh-heh, I used Tea's last name!  
(Everybody leaves to go on the ship or just to leave)  
Cloud: What are you doing?  
Mai: Everyone was trying to find a way on... I just saw that I could be a  
new part-time servant girl for Mr. Bon bons!  
Cloud: Mr. Bon bons?  
Mai: He's been driving me crazy with Bon bons! *starts making a voice to  
imitate Rufus* " The way to a man's heart is not through food, but bon  
bons!", " I want more bon-bons, give me more, no I want it spoon fed to  
me!", "Where's my complimentary chocolate Bon-bon on my pillow?", " My bath  
water isn't right! It needs to be soaked in bon-bon essences!"  
Cloud: Bon bons in bath water?  
Mai: Heh-heh! Actually I made that one up! But he asked me if I could fix a  
Bon-bon soufflé! Oh hey Cloud check it out! (Grabs whip and cracks it and  
leaves a mark) Next time you go to battle take me! I have a materia that I  
found in the hotel that Rufus hasn't figured out I took!  
Cloud: A level 2 ice materia, not bad.  
Mai: I gotta go...  
(Cloud gets on after Mai)  
Mai: And don't look at my butt!  
Cloud: ...okay.  
(On the boat someone's making hurling noises)  
Cloud: Are you going to be okay?  
Yuffie: Cloud? It's me you moron! Urrk!  
Cloud: Yuck!  
Yuffie: Sorry, got any tranquilizers?  
Cloud: Here just don't throw up on me!  
Yuffie: Thanks *gulp, gulp * Ugh! This is bitter!  
Aeris: Hey cloud look at me! I'm in a 'Shinra uniform' don't I look  
professional?  
Cloud: Sure...  
Aeris: Hey did you see that big ship?  
Cloud: I think so...  
Aeris: I wanna ride it!  
Cloud: Don't get to excited about it.  
Aeris: I guess so...  
(Cloud walks up the stairs and sees Tea in a sailors uniform and some guys  
talking to her)  
Sailor: You know what they say about us sea men  
Tea: they have bad breath?  
Sailor: That we have a whole lot o-  
Cloud: That's enough!  
Tea: Thank you! God now I think I'll have grotesque images.  
Sailor: I hope to see you around, Laterz!  
Cloud: Having a hard time?  
Tea: Thanks...whoever you are  
Cloud: It's me, Cloud.  
Tea: oh hi! Well hey! See what Tifa got me? A bow and Arrow! (She grabs out  
a bow and pivots the arrow on the holder and pulls) I always did great in  
archery! My coach, Ms. Dany, who is a ms. because she's everyone's fav.  
Lesbian teacher, said so!  
Cloud: How good can that be?  
Tea: throw up something  
Cloud: Here's a bon-bon (he throws it up and Tea shoots it in half)  
Cloud: that's...good.  
Tea: Hey got any materia? I wanna learn so bad how to use it! Can you teach  
me? After all we have a long trip ahead so we have time right?  
Cloud: Here have this Shiva materia...I don't wanna hold a love token from  
a prepubescent girl.  
Tea: Cool!  
Cloud: Alright in order to use materia you just...(explains it) got it?  
Barret: Isn't his explanations, make no sense?  
Tea: uhhm It made perfect sense and I had a hard time understanding what  
you said.  
Barret: dammit! Why's everyone criticizing me?! (runs off)  
Cloud: Let's see I haven't seen Red XIII, Tifa and that weird person  
Tea: Yugi  
Cloud: Yugi  
(Yugi runs by)  
Yugi: I snuck on at the last minute!  
Tea: umm you're going to get caught  
Yugi: O-o  
Red XIII: Hey I look like a human don't I?  
Tifa: I hate these suits...  
Tea: Perfect timing! Cloud? What do we do in the meantime?  
Cloud: I'm going to see the President now...  
(Walks up to see the president in the main room with Heideggar and Mai.  
Rufus keeps talking about Sephiroth with a random request for a bon bon  
while Heideggar is laughing and Mai's adjusting her skirt while some of the  
sailors are watching)  
Mai: Don't you guys have some Playboys to look at? God have you never seen  
a woman before?  
Sailor's: No  
Mai: *sigh* get a girlfriend!  
Rufus: Another bon bon Ms. Gardner!  
Tea: Gardner?  
Mai: Here...on-a-spoon!  
Rufus: Thank you!  
Heideggar: G'ya ha ha I loved destroying the 7th sector pillar and blaming  
it on Avalanche! Now they'll think they did it!  
Rufus: I already knew that!  
(A red light comes off and an announcer came on the intercom)  
Announcer: Suspicious character found, repeat, suspicious character found.  
Cloud: Are they talking about everybody else?  
Tea: uh-oh...  
Tifa: Let's go find out!  
(Of coarse they go and find everybody except Yugi in the center of the  
ship)  
Red XIII: So it wasn't us  
Mai: I hate this outfit! It rides up on my butt!  
Tea: And what about your original attire? It's almost like that.  
Mai: No, I'm more fashionable!  
Tifa: Do you think it could be?...  
Cloud: Yes...it's Sephiroth.  
Tifa: How do you know I was going to say that? I was gonna say a false  
alarm.  
Cloud: Oh...well so-  
Tifa: You're not psychic! You don't know what I was going to say so stop  
thinking you do!  
Barret: What time of the month is it?  
Tifa: Shut up!  
Red XIII: So who's going to see what's going on?  
Tea: I want to!  
Mai: Me too!  
Yuffie: I don't...feel...good... so... ...UURRKK!!  
All: EEE~WW!!  
Red XIII: I'll go, I want to get out of this outfit.  
Cloud: I will to...if it is Sephiroth...  
Mai: Then we bash his face in!!  
Cloud: ...no.  
Mai: Why?  
(The reason you ask? Cause I don't want to end this so early!)  
Cloud: The rest of you make sure to stay undercover and ...please don't be  
mad at me.  
Tifa: What makes you think I am?!  
Cloud: You're yelling at me!  
Mai: Let's go!!  
(They go down into the ship and see all the dead bodies except the one  
that was standing at the end)  
Tea: Eew!  
Cloud: Sephiroth! (Touches the person who actually ends up dead and  
Sephiroth comes up)  
Tea: Ooh! What a hunk!  
Cloud: (stares at Tea for a brief second) What are you doing Sephiroth?  
Sephiroth: Do I know you?  
Cloud: You don't remember?  
Sephiroth: I don't have to, do I?  
Mai: Cool sword! Can I touch it?!  
Sephiroth: Do you know who I am?  
Mai: Ummm not really.  
Sephiroth: Blondes may be cute... but stupid!  
Mai: Hey! I'm smarter than you honey! My I.Q. is 209!  
Sephiroth: I don't have time to deal with you, now, The time is near.  
Tea: Yes! I can hear the wedding bells now!  
Sephiroth:(stares at Tea and Mai as in " what the hell?)...okay. I leave  
you now (he flies over them and Jenova comes out)  
Tea & Mai : HOLY CRAP!!  
(Red XIII and Cloud get ready to attack)  
Mai: huh? oh yeah! (grabs out whip and cracks it on Jenova)  
Tea: Let's see...straddle the line, raise, pivot, drawback and...FOLLOW  
TROUGH!!(shoots an arrow) Yay!  
Cloud: Try to use the materia!  
Tea: All right... umm *click* Diamond Dust!! (her magic casting sequence  
starts off with her twirling around on her toes in a 360 degree rotation  
then holding arms out straight in front of her as if she was holding a  
ball)  
(Shiva comes and does her work)  
Mai: My turn, Ice 2!! (her magic casting sequence starts off with the whip  
in a spiraling ring around her while her hand is in the air and her right  
leg pulled up to her then brings her hand down in a swiping motion)  
Jenova: *squoosh squirm*(think old alien noises) ( She uses tail laser on  
Tea, Mai, and Red XIII)  
Tea: Wow I feel strange...  
Cloud: You guys don't know about limit breaks?  
Tea: Limit breaks?  
Cloud: I'll give the tutorial later, just use what you've got!!  
Tea: umm, okay?...  
(Jenova uses tail laser again and this time Mai Feels strange too)  
Cloud: Cure! (casts cure (is this repetitive typing necessary?) on Tea)  
Red XIII: Cure! (cast's in on Mai)  
Mai: Wow I'm totally clueless!  
Tea: FIRE SHOT!! (finally uses her limit break in which she shoots a  
flaming arrow at high speed that exploded on contact) cool!  
Mai: Wow! Let me try!  
Red XIII: Fire! (casts fire)  
(Jenova casts stop on Red XIII and it was succesful)  
Mai: *Blink, blink*  
Cloud: I'll tell you about Status effects later!  
Mai: Shockline!! (her limit break, she cracks and attaches the tip of the  
whip on Jenova and sends an electrical surge through the whip and stuns  
Jenova) WOW!!! I am, like, so cool!  
Jenova: (makes alien noises again then uses W-laser on Red XIII and Cloud)  
Cloud: Okay, Cross-slash!! (his limit and if you don't know this one then  
it's your own damn fault!)  
Jenova: (alien noises then turns red and dies)  
Tea: Cool!  
Mai: Yeah!! More Materia! (picks up Ifrit materia)  
Red XIII: Would you like to give an explanation?  
Cloud: Well, no.  
Mai: Fine, FI~NE! We don't need to know!  
Tea: Materia and limit breaks are the coolest!  
Announcer: We will be docking in Costa del Sol in a short while, please  
whoever's throwing up all over the place do it overboard!  
Mai: Yay!! I tan!!  
Author notes: I hope this one was long enough for the one who said the  
others were too short... I really had a fun time writing this one! oh and  
for limit break charts as for now  
Tea= Lv.1/ Element shot= shoots elemental arrows to hurt one enemy  
possible attacks-- Fire shot-  
fire elemental  
Ice  
shot-ice elemental  
Bolt shot- lightning elemental  
Mai= Lv.1/ Shockline= lightning damage and Paralysis to one enemy  
And if you review this fanfic and ask for it I will send some of my artwork  
for this fic (some in progress) to you such as Mai with a whip and/or other  
things not relevant to this like my picture of Red XIII with wings or  
Yuffie. but please note that if you do want to see them it may take a while  
to send them to those who asked 


End file.
